CO-PARENTING COUNSELING.
A CHILD-FRIENDLY path to a new family.

Helpful Article:

Co-Parenting during Shelter-In-Place

CO-PARENTING

FOR PARENTS WHO ARE DIVORCED OR NOT LIVING TOGETHER

Co-Parenting Counseling is a specialized form of counseling for parents who are in the process of getting divorced, already divorced, or no longer living together and recognize that raising children can become a daunting task.

Communications about scheduling, finances, education, extra-curricular activities and medical decisions are all areas that can lead to potential conflict. In addition, children don't always cope well with divorce and the challenges of having more than one home, and as separated or divorced parents, it can be easy and tempting to point the finger at each other and have old wounds resurface rather than collaborate to provide support to the children. It wasn't their fault that their parents are divorcing, and many of them, especially the younger ones tend to feel as if it is. To help both parents and children recover from big changes in the family, parents can develop and improve healthy communication to instill more peace in transitions, decision making and the future.

Despite the common adage, Parents, you will be in each others lives forever, not just until the children turn 18. Wouldn't you like to

create a better way to communicate and reduce the conflict for yourselves and your family?

Without better resources, parents often take their disputes to the court and when the court gets involved in your family maters, neither party is usually happy with the outcome. It is expensive, inefficient and the ones that will suffer the most, are the children. They are the ones who sadly get lost in the conflict and find themselves caught in a web of arguments.

MODELING CONFLICT RESOLUTION

There is an extensive catalog of research that reports that children thrive when the adults can model effective conflict resolution strategies. If we realize that the most important job a parent has is the successful raising of their children, we can begin to look at co-parenting as a business partnership.

Parents must develop skills similar to a business partnership. An inability to manage conflict undermines the children's well being and makes the parents unhappy.

Parents who continue to be preoccupied with anger, resentment and contempt are unable to successfully move on with their lives. Our therapists will help you find ways to release some of this anger and resentment so you can channel your energy into being more loving and functional parents for your children.

RESPONDING TO A COURT ORDER

Many parents are referred to Co-parenting Counseling as part of a court order. These parents can sometimes arrive battered from the legal conflict they have been experiencing.

Working with clients in this situation, our therapists help them develop stress management skills that would help de-escalate the situation before jumping into the goal-setting stage.

Sometimes the focus for these families is to help develop strategies for sharing information and work out details of the parenting plan. Other times the court orders the parents to develop the parenting plan with the assistance of a co-parent counselor.

A CO-PARENTING PLAN

We assist parents in developing the co-parenting plan, an agreement of where, when and how the children will be living. We also help parents have conversations about health, special needs of the children, educational issues, extracurricular activities and rest.

It is important to:

Consider your children’s ages, personalities, experiences, and abilities. Every child is unique. Adjust your plan to your children, NOT your children to your plan.
Give your children regular, consistent times with each of you for day-to-day care, overnights, activities, schoolwork, vacations, and holidays. Since their world has been turned upside-down, your children will thrive with structure.
Give your co-parenting plan enough detail so it is easy to understand and act upon. Being overly general, tends to lead to arguments. Using a software tool like CustodyXchange, can help tremendously.
Give your children a sense of security by feeling secure yourself. Children soak up the vibe in the house. The better you get along with your ex, the more secure your children will feel.

If you would like to discuss co-parenting issues with me, please fill out the contact form below and we will get back to you within 24 hours.

"What dictates how well children recover from divorce? It is how their parents communicate with each other during and after the divorce."

-Nicole Knowlton MA, MDR, JD

Family Conflict Resolution Specialist, CRC

--- PLEASE KNOW THAT WE DO NOT PROVIDE DIVORCE MEDIATION. THIS IS A SPECIALTY THAT IS BEYOND THE SCOPE OF OUR PRACTICE.

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Books for Children – Divorce

Young Children - (Ages 4-9)

Mama and Daddy Bear’s Divorce
Cornelia Maude Spelman
Dinosaurs Divorce (ages 4-9)
Lauren Krasny and Mark Brown
Two Homes
Claire Masurel
Arthur and the 1,001 Dads
Marc Tolon Brown
Help Me Understand: A Child’s Book About Divorce (Christian)
Amy Ross Munford

Children - Ages 7-12

Ginny Morris and Mom’s House, Dad’s House
Mary Collins Gallager
Amber Brown Goes Forth
Paula Danzinger
The Day My Mother Left
James Prosek
Kaline Katter master’s Tree House
Haven Kimmel
It’s Not the End of the World
Judy Blume
Don’t Make Me Smile
Barbara Park
Taking Sides
Norma Klein
My Parents are Divorced, Too: A Book for Kids by Kids
Jan Blackstone-Ford
Don’t Fall Apart on Saturday’s: The Children’s Divorce-Survival Book
Norma Klein
What Makes Me Feel This Way?
Eda LeShan

Teenagers

Gateway
Lee Robinson
How it Feels When Parents Divorce
Jill Krementz
Healing the Hurt, Help for Teenagers Whose Parents Are Divorced (Christian)
Mildred Tickfer
Divorce is Not the End of the World: Zoe’s and Evan’s Coping Guide for Kids
Zoe and Evan Stern
Dear Mr. Henshaw (Novel)
Beverly Cleary

CO-PARENTING COUNSELING. A CHILD-FRIENDLY path to a new family.